I love you just the way you are



The Children’s TV Host, Mr. Rogers would sign off his show with this statement, “I love you just the way you are”. Perhaps that is why so many adults years later have such fond memories of Mr. Rogers. He knew how to love without conditions. To be honest it isn’t easy.  And it is not unusual for partners in a relationship to try, subtly or otherwise to change their significant others into a different version.  Total acceptance, though, forms a powerful bond, one that can survive every pressure and challenge a relationship holds. In this episode, Alvean and Doug talk about ways to cultivate that kind of acceptance and how to build an invincible bond with your mate.  For a complete transcript, click here: LL45-I love you Just the Way You Are


Finding Purpose



At some point in their lives most people will ask of themselves what their purpose is or should be. Is it about your work, family, your children or some higher calling perhaps? Finding one’s purpose gives meaning to life and the search for purpose grows stronger as we age. In this episode, Alvean and Doug talk about the existential search and how one might go about finding your reason for being. For a full transcript of the episode, click here: LL44-Finding Purpose


Is That All There Is?



When the initial rush of love and chemistry cools down, partners in a relationship can sometimes experience a kind of buyer’s remorse.  They might wonder if the day to day life they are living is all there is to love or marriage. In this episode, Alvean and Doug explore the ways in which our feelings mature and change over time and how we can maintain a healthy openness to new experiences and seeing our partners in new ways. For a full transcript of the episode, click here: LL43-Is That All There Is?


Fight or Flight



When conflict arises in a relationship, as it does from time to time, and resolution seems difficult to attain, how do couples avoid the tendency to fight or run from conflict. Neither is an effective strategy for ending the conflict, much less preventing its recurrence.  In this episode, Alvean and Doug offer some highly effective strategies for coping with conflict and for healing the wounds. For a full transcript, click here: LL42-Fight or Flight


In Sickness and in health



The marriage vows remind us that we are bound to one another in both sickness and health but reality can be harsh, especially when your partner in life has a debilitating, life threatening or terminal disease.  Being a supporter, caregiver and companion requires a great deal of an individual and to do so while keeping the love between you growing  can become an afterthought. Speaking from their own personal experience, Alvean and Doug talk about the reality of caring for a sick partner and loved one.  For a full transcript, click here:LL41-In Sickness & in Health


Growing Older



Couples change over time but growing older does not have to mean growing apart or growing stale in the relationship.  Keeping yourself and your partner youthful in body and spirit is key to enjoying your love at every stage of life.  In this episode, Alvean and Doug talk about how to maintain and when necessary rekindle those attributes that you have learned to love about one another and how to see each other through fresh eyes.  For a full transcript, click here: LL40-Growing Older


After the Love



When the first rush and chemistry of young attraction fades, the serious business of learning to love and love deeply, begins.  Relationships need room and work to flourish.  They don’t just grow organically but require tending and renewal. In this episode, Alvean and Doug talk about strategies for strengthening your relationship and breathing freshness and depth to it. For a full transcript, click here: LL39-After the Love


Staying Positive



It seems the news on almost every front is dispiriting these days.  Everywhere we turn there is negativity and it can get you down, turning a positive attitude negative in short order.  In this episode, Alvean and Doug discuss the ways one can find the positive energy in a negative environment and how couples can help one another achieve an affirming relationship. For a complete transcript, click here: LL38-Staying Positive in a Negative World


The Art of Persuasion



Getting what you want without coercion, manipulation or worse is all about the art of persuasion.  Couples need to learn how to achieve their individual and mutual relationship goals in a manner that leaves them both satisfied.  In this episode, Alvean and Doug discuss the persuasion rules and tools for negotiation that engender mutual respect and  win/win solutions.  For a full transcript, click here: LL37-The Art of Persuasion


Tune In or Tune Out



Listening is one of the most important skills in relationship building.  Really hearing what the other person has to say–rather than simply acknowledging with half attention is not only a courtesy it is a profound sign of engagement and investment.  In this episode, Alvean and Doug talk about the art of tuning in to what others have to say and the downside of tuning out when you are into yourself or just not into what your SO has to say.  For a full transcript, click here: LL36-Listening-Tune in or Tune out