Monthly Archives: February 2022

Friends and Families as Counselors



In this episode, Alvean and Doug discuss some of the challenges and pitfalls of turning to friends or family members for advice on your relationships.  Although they may mean well, those closest to you are not without unconscious or even intentional bias that skews their counsel and can add a layer of emotional distortion that won’t serve you well.  In the best of cases, they are not professionals and are working only from their experience which may or may not be grounded in positive outcomes. Typically what we are looking for is validation but what we need is objectivity.  For more, click here for a full transcript: LL46-Friends and Family as Counselors


I love you as you are



The children’s show host, Mr. Rogers was famous for saying “I love you just the way you are.”  He understood that very important affirmation was essential to convey acceptance and trust.  It is just as important for adults to hear that message as it is for children.  Trying to change or conform your loved one to your desire sows the seed of breakup by violating that cardinal rule about doing unto others as you would have done unto you.  No one wants to manipulated or coerced into being someone they are not.  We all want acceptance for who and what we are.  Alvean and Doug discuss the ways in which we consciously and unconsciously signal acceptance.  For a full transcript of this episode, click here: LL45-I love you Just the Way You Are


Finding Purpose



A crucial part of feeling good about yourself and your significant other is having a sense of purpose. What you want for yourself, for others and how you go about accomplishing that has everything to do with your personal happiness and sense of peace.   Alvean and Doug talk about how to find your purpose in life and how that can guide your relationships.  For a full transcript, click here: LL44-Finding Purpose


Is that all there is?



Early or late in a relationship you or your partner may experience a sense of dissatisfaction regarding your feelings for one another; a feeling that whatever you two have is simply not satisfying any more.  It is not that unusual but it is something that you can and must address before it leads to heartache and disunion.  The good news is that you can do something about these feelings by re-kindling the feelings you had for one another.  Alvean and Doug tell you where and how to turn sadness, depression or adversity into a positive, affirmation of your love.  For a complete transcript of this episode, click here:LL43-Is That All There Is?