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You find each other, fall in love and the chemistry and positive feelings pull you along what seems a never ending and positive current.  Then you hit a snag–one or the other of you suddenly signals the need for change.  Maybe it is some habit or personality quirk–maybe something more serious but the struggle for control and the daily wearing down of complaints or unhappiness become a weight that threatens to sink your relationship.  It doesn’t have to be this way–but you cannot solve it by ignoring the problem.  Learning to listen to each other without judgment, to find ways to meet each others needs and to set priorities that respect health compromise is the art of relationships.  Living together is easy in the short run–harder over time and finding the way to grow closer rather than further apart is the key to a healthy and happy relationship.  Alvean and Doug offer strategies for coping with dissatisfaction–learning to love your partner just as they are.  For a copy of the full transcript of this episode, click here:  LL45-I love you Just the Way You Are

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It happens to most of us, we become absorbed in the daily business of living and one day we look up from our tasks and routines and ask ourselves what we are doing–what our lives are really all about.  It may come in your later years–or even in your younger ones but that question is one we are likely to be presented with sooner or later.  Maybe your purpose is family, your work, your faith, or something else entirely, but finding the one thing that gives you the energy and strength to persevere and to relish your days is a gift we all need to receive.  Alvean and Doug talk about how to begin the process–to find and embrace your purpose in life.  You can find a full transcript of this episode here: LL44-Finding Purpose

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In a perfect world your relationship with a loved one would grow stronger over time but life has a way of dealing challenges that can result in just the opposite; a feeling that there must be something else, something better just over the horizon.  That feeling can lead to the death of your relationship but it isn’t inevitable.  Learning to avoid the apathy and entropy that can overwhelm you or your partner is within your grasp, and Alvean and Doug talk about how you find the emotional and psychological center from which to begin.  There is so much more to come–and you can have it all.  For a full transcript of this episode, click here: LL43-Is That All There Is?

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Conflict of any kind is a challenge to every relationship.  Without mediation we are hard wired to fight or to flee–and neither of these instinctual responses is a healthy way to strengthen your bond with those you love.  There are ways to avoid the trap of responding by reflex, and keeping your emotions from overwhelming you or your partner.  Alvean and Doug talk about how to practice the skills you’ll need to find your way through those tough moments keeping you both on the same page, working together, and not at cross purposes.  Learning to do this will result in a bond so strong it can withstand almost any challenge you will face together.  You can find a full transcript of this episode here: LL42-Fight or Flight

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It is probable that at some point in your relationship one of you will become seriously ill.  We don’t like to think about the prospect but especially in present times it is a reality we may have to face.  Navigating the future can be daunting when the one you love is challenged by sickness and you are suddenly in the role of caregiver–no longer lover, but companion, cheerleader or nurse.  Hopefully it will all end well, but the journey is often bumpy, full of turns and twists you cannot foresee or control.  Alvean and Doug talk about their own personal experiences with these challenges and offer their thoughts on how such moments can be opportunities to deepen your relationship and see your partner in new and powerful ways.  A complete transcript can be found here: LL41-In Sickness & in Health

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Growing older brings changes–whether it is the difference between your 20’s and 30’s or decades beyond.  How do you keep your relationship on solid ground through all of the changes you experience together?  Is it true that things get easier or the opposite?  When the chemistry is not what it was, life’s daily challenges increasingly get in the way, and so many things compete for your attention how can you ensure that you and your partner in life face things together and not apart?  Alvean and Doug discuss the strategies for maintaining a strong and vibrant relationship in the face of adversity and some of the joys of growing older together.  For a full transcript of the episode, click here: LL40-Growing Older

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What do you do when the love you once felt seems over?  Is it enough to just live together without love, or is there a way to rekindle the feelings you once had for one another?  Alvean and Doug talk about the emotional, psychological and even the spiritual roots of love, why it can grow or diminish over time, and what you can do to keep it fresh and alive.  For a full transcript of this episode, click here: LL39-After the Love

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We are in the midst of a tremendously challenging time–health, security and our very lives may be threatened by events over which we may have little or no control.  Finding a center of strength and serenity in the midst of chaos–finding the positive is a critical skill.  Alvean and Doug talk about how you can learn to find that core ability and use it to help yourself and those you love.  For a full transcript, click here: LL38-Staying Positive in a Negative World

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Fight or flight may be a strategy among animals but it is a poor way to try to solve interpersonal difficulties.  Alvean and Doug discuss the art of persuasion-the process that help you and your partner find the middle ground where win or lose becomes win and win.  To see a complete transcript of this episode click here:LL37-The Art of Persuasion

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Sometimes we are on broadcast when we should be on receive.  Learning to listen goes a long way in building strong and loving relationships but it does not come naturally.  We all need to learn to listen.  Alvean and Doug talk about how we can learn to be a good listener–and especially for men, how to stop being a problem solver and start becoming a source of emotional support. To read a full transcript, click here:LL36-Listening-Tune in or Tune out