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Getting what you want in life and in your relationships shouldn’t be a struggle or a win/lose battle. In fact, getting what you want is all about understanding what your requirements are for fulfillment and happiness and communicating those effectively to your partner.  It is not a negotiation or a battle you seek but a reciprocal accommodation that will further both your own desires and your partner’s. In this episode, Alvean and Doug offer some strategies for achieving this blissful state of being.  For a full transcript, click here: LL47-Getting What You Want

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When there are issues in a relationship or challenges that must be navigated it is often the case that one or the other partner will turn to friends or family to act as counselors.  It is one of the worst things one can do to maintain trust and avoid unending reprecussions.  In this episode, Alvean and Doug offer real life stories and advice about how to handle differences and avoid the trap of making family and friends into therapists or umpires. For a full transcript, click here: LL-46 Friends and Family as Counselors

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The Children’s TV Host, Mr. Rogers would sign off his show with this statement, “I love you just the way you are”. Perhaps that is why so many adults years later have such fond memories of Mr. Rogers. He knew how to love without conditions. To be honest it isn’t easy.  And it is not unusual for partners in a relationship to try, subtly or otherwise to change their significant others into a different version.  Total acceptance, though, forms a powerful bond, one that can survive every pressure and challenge a relationship holds. In this episode, Alvean and Doug talk about ways to cultivate that kind of acceptance and how to build an invincible bond with your mate.  For a complete transcript, click here: LL45-I love you Just the Way You Are

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At some point in their lives most people will ask of themselves what their purpose is or should be. Is it about your work, family, your children or some higher calling perhaps? Finding one’s purpose gives meaning to life and the search for purpose grows stronger as we age. In this episode, Alvean and Doug talk about the existential search and how one might go about finding your reason for being. For a full transcript of the episode, click here: LL44-Finding Purpose

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When the initial rush of love and chemistry cools down, partners in a relationship can sometimes experience a kind of buyer’s remorse.  They might wonder if the day to day life they are living is all there is to love or marriage. In this episode, Alvean and Doug explore the ways in which our feelings mature and change over time and how we can maintain a healthy openness to new experiences and seeing our partners in new ways. For a full transcript of the episode, click here: LL43-Is That All There Is?

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When conflict arises in a relationship, as it does from time to time, and resolution seems difficult to attain, how do couples avoid the tendency to fight or run from conflict. Neither is an effective strategy for ending the conflict, much less preventing its recurrence.  In this episode, Alvean and Doug offer some highly effective strategies for coping with conflict and for healing the wounds. For a full transcript, click here: LL42-Fight or Flight

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The marriage vows remind us that we are bound to one another in both sickness and health but reality can be harsh, especially when your partner in life has a debilitating, life threatening or terminal disease.  Being a supporter, caregiver and companion requires a great deal of an individual and to do so while keeping the love between you growing  can become an afterthought. Speaking from their own personal experience, Alvean and Doug talk about the reality of caring for a sick partner and loved one.  For a full transcript, click here:LL41-In Sickness & in Health

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Couples change over time but growing older does not have to mean growing apart or growing stale in the relationship.  Keeping yourself and your partner youthful in body and spirit is key to enjoying your love at every stage of life.  In this episode, Alvean and Doug talk about how to maintain and when necessary rekindle those attributes that you have learned to love about one another and how to see each other through fresh eyes.  For a full transcript, click here: LL40-Growing Older

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When the first rush and chemistry of young attraction fades, the serious business of learning to love and love deeply, begins.  Relationships need room and work to flourish.  They don’t just grow organically but require tending and renewal. In this episode, Alvean and Doug talk about strategies for strengthening your relationship and breathing freshness and depth to it. For a full transcript, click here: LL39-After the Love

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It seems the news on almost every front is dispiriting these days.  Everywhere we turn there is negativity and it can get you down, turning a positive attitude negative in short order.  In this episode, Alvean and Doug discuss the ways one can find the positive energy in a negative environment and how couples can help one another achieve an affirming relationship. For a complete transcript, click here: LL38-Staying Positive in a Negative World