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It’s a big step and one that is fraught with tests of your relationship.  Habits that may be endearing in small does can become irritating when they occur all the time–differences in needs and desires–ranging from simple things like personal habits, the need for entertainment or solitude, even what you want to eat or when to go to sleep can become points of contention.  Alvean and Doug talk about the considerations one should have in making the move to love and live together.  For more about this and a full transcript, click here:63-Moving In Together

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How we show our love has everything to do with the love languages we speak.  For some, the giving of gifts or time is their way of expressing love.  For others it is romantic gestures or physical closeness.  Learn what you love language is and how you and your partner can learn to recognize each other’s expressions of love even and especially when they may not be the same. For more information and a complete transcript of this episode, click here: 66-The Love Languages

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We are told that we’ll know our ideal mate when we first meet them, but that is as often as not really what happens.  The deep bonds and lasting commitment between two people takes time and nurture to reach fulfillment .  The thunderclap of instant love is too often a chemical or romantic impulse .  How do you learn to tell the difference and more important, how can you learn to recognize those individuals that have the capacity to love and be loved fully?  Answers to these and other questions can be found in this episode.  For more, and a full transcript, click here: LL62-Your ideal mate

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It has been said that great relationships begin with great friendships. Whether those friendships advance to something more romantic or not–learning what it means to be a good friend is an important life lesson. Alvean and Doug discuss the hallmarks of friendship and how reciprocity and selflessness are characteristic of the committed partners.  For a complete transcript of this episode, click here: LL61-Are you a good friend?

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Alvean and Doug talk about what makes for true intimacy in a relationship.  For many people intimacy is code language for sex, but this is a very one dimensional view of something that encompasses a range of emotions and connections between people that can be entirely platonic or ragingly passionate.  For more about this episode a full transcript can be found here: LL60-What is Intimacy

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Is there such a thing as true love?  How do we recognize it and what are the lessons we can take from couples that have been so fortunate as to find someone they are committed to for life?  Alvean and Doug discuss these and other questions about the nature of love and commitment in this episode.  For a full transcript, click here:LL59-What has true love taught you?

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Is there a ‘use by’ date for marriage?  Do relationships sour if they fail to move to a next level?  These and other views about how love and bonding work are the topic of this episode as Doug & Alvean discuss how couples can take a long view of the ever changing ever evolving nature of their commitment to one another. For more about this episode and a full transcript, click here:LL58-Is there a use by date….

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Living in the past is an unhealthy and potentially destructive behavior.  We all have regrets at some point in our lives but no amount of emotional investment can change what has occurred.  Alvean and Doug discuss strategies for learning from our past experiences while avoiding the pitfalls of allowing our regrets to rob of us our happiness in the present. For more about this episode and a full transcript, click here: LL57-Your Biggest Regrets

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Raising children together can be one of the most rewarding things a couple can do but at times also the most challenging.  The challenges can be even greater when the children are not your own.  Alvean and Doug talk about emotional bonds that father and mothers have with their children and children of another partner and how you can cope with co-parenting when a divorce or re-marriage occurs due to the loss of a spouse. For a full transcript of this episode, click here: LL56-Relating to children from a prior relationship

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As we move though our lives our perspectives and emotional response to others and to life situations change–sometimes for the better and sometimes the worse. Alvean and Doug talk about how these changes affect us and how we can recognize their impact on our emotional health.  For a complete transcript, click here: LL55-How has your perspective changed with age?pdf