Category Archives: Uncategorized

Breaking Up



The song title says it all, breaking up is hard to do.  But there are ways to part company without scorching the earth.  Alvean and Doug talk about their own experience and the strategies they have found for bringing you both to the conclusion that moving on alone is better than together.  For more, see the attached transcript of this episode here: LL51-Breaking Up


And Baby Makes………



When a little one comes along it changes things–in some cases for the better but it can also expose weaknesses in a relationship that could tear a family apart. Alvean and Doug talk about navigating parenthood, the last of the unskilled occupations and one few are prepared for. For a full transcript of this episode, click here: LL50-And Baby Makes Three


Toxic Families



What do you do when your family or your partner get involved in your relationship and become a destructive force?  Are there such things as toxic families?  Alvean and Doug talk about the role and importance of building a solid “us” fortress that sets you and your partner apart from negative influences so neither of you need to choose or worry about what family might think or say.  They also offer some tips for diagnosing toxicity when you see it.  For a complete transcript of this episode, click here:LL49 -Toxic Families


Does Age Matter



We read about May/December relationships where one person is considerably older than another.  And we also hear about relationships between those who seem very young or very old.  Does age really matter or can two people find love and sustainability regardless of these distinctions?  Alvean discuss age and its bearing on successful relationships in this episode, for which a copy of the transcript can be found here: LL48-Does Age Matter?


Getting What You Want



Alvean and Doug talk about strategies for negotiating with your mate.  How do you get what you want without forcing your partner to give up what is important to them?  How do you create win win solutions in difficult circumstances?  These and other questions make for an intriguing episode.  For a complete transcript, click here:LL47-Getting What You Want


When friends and family are counselors



Alvean and Doug discuss the challenges that can occur when family or friends are invited or insinuate themselves into a relationship.  They may have every good intention but there are pitfalls to non-professional counseling that can often exacerbate underlying issues or even create them where they do not currently exist.  For a full transcript of this episode, click here: LL46-Friends and Family as Counselors


I love you just the way you are



You find each other, fall in love and the chemistry and positive feelings pull you along what seems a never ending and positive current.  Then you hit a snag–one or the other of you suddenly signals the need for change.  Maybe it is some habit or personality quirk–maybe something more serious but the struggle for control and the daily wearing down of complaints or unhappiness become a weight that threatens to sink your relationship.  It doesn’t have to be this way–but you cannot solve it by ignoring the problem.  Learning to listen to each other without judgment, to find ways to meet each others needs and to set priorities that respect health compromise is the art of relationships.  Living together is easy in the short run–harder over time and finding the way to grow closer rather than further apart is the key to a healthy and happy relationship.  Alvean and Doug offer strategies for coping with dissatisfaction–learning to love your partner just as they are.  For a copy of the full transcript of this episode, click here:  LL45-I love you Just the Way You Are


Finding a purpose



It happens to most of us, we become absorbed in the daily business of living and one day we look up from our tasks and routines and ask ourselves what we are doing–what our lives are really all about.  It may come in your later years–or even in your younger ones but that question is one we are likely to be presented with sooner or later.  Maybe your purpose is family, your work, your faith, or something else entirely, but finding the one thing that gives you the energy and strength to persevere and to relish your days is a gift we all need to receive.  Alvean and Doug talk about how to begin the process–to find and embrace your purpose in life.  You can find a full transcript of this episode here: LL44-Finding Purpose


Is that all there is?



In a perfect world your relationship with a loved one would grow stronger over time but life has a way of dealing challenges that can result in just the opposite; a feeling that there must be something else, something better just over the horizon.  That feeling can lead to the death of your relationship but it isn’t inevitable.  Learning to avoid the apathy and entropy that can overwhelm you or your partner is within your grasp, and Alvean and Doug talk about how you find the emotional and psychological center from which to begin.  There is so much more to come–and you can have it all.  For a full transcript of this episode, click here: LL43-Is That All There Is?


Fight or Flight



Conflict of any kind is a challenge to every relationship.  Without mediation we are hard wired to fight or to flee–and neither of these instinctual responses is a healthy way to strengthen your bond with those you love.  There are ways to avoid the trap of responding by reflex, and keeping your emotions from overwhelming you or your partner.  Alvean and Doug talk about how to practice the skills you’ll need to find your way through those tough moments keeping you both on the same page, working together, and not at cross purposes.  Learning to do this will result in a bond so strong it can withstand almost any challenge you will face together.  You can find a full transcript of this episode here: LL42-Fight or Flight