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Alvean and Doug take up a fascinating topic in this episode–the things men rarely talk about but often feel strongly.  Men are often viewed as the less emotional gender but nothing could be further from the truth.  Behind a mask of stoicism or a veneer of masculine indifference there is a beating heart that can be easily wounded.  Understanding how men really feel is important to women and men alike, so tune in to this episode or read the full transcript here: LL53-What men rarely say but often feel

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You ‘ve heard the lament before, perhaps you’ve said it yourself: Aren’t there any good (men or women) out there?  Let’s face it, finding Mr. or Ms right isn’t always easy and it can seem like you are a loser or that there are simply no fish in the pond.  Alvean and Doug talk about the feelings that accompany seemingly futile attempts to find the person meant for you and ways that we may be sabotaging ourselves.  Are our standards too high or too low?  Where are we looking, and what signals are we sending, conscious or otherwise?  These topics and much more can be found in this episode.  For a complete transcript, click here: LL52-Are there any good men or women out there?

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It is gut wrenching, and whether you are the one who brings it about or the one who gets left behind there is no easy way to navigate this emotionally difficult moment.  Alvean and Doug offer some life lessons on the experience, and how to process your feelings in a constructive way.  For the those who are on the receiving end, it is crucial to understand the grieving process and for those who have decided to leave a relationship for whatever reason, there are ways in which you can do so leaving your former partner with dignity and emotional respect.  It is hard enough, but the two of you can become ex partners and still remain caring people.  To learn how, listen to the episode and download the transcript here: LL51-Breaking Up

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You were a couple and now you are about to be or already are three, and everything has changed.  As welcome as the birth for a child can be for couples, it is still an emotionally and physically challenging even that will change your lives forever. Whether that change is welcome or not depends to a great extent on your own emotional orientation, empathy and understanding of the potential changes you or your partner may experience.  Alvean and Doug discuss these along with some advice on how to navigate the changes successfully. For a full transcript, click here: LL50-And Baby Makes Three

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Our families should offer us both emotional support and open arms but that is not always the case.  Some families are dysfunctional while others are simply toxic.  Alvean and Doug discuss the red flags that can reveal toxic family members and offer some strategies to address their behavior while insulating you and your partner from damage to your relationship.  For a full transcript, click here:LL49 -Toxic Families

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Differences between partners can make for an exciting and textured relationship, or it can be a prescription for disaster.  Race, religion, social standing, wealth, and of course age are some of the differentiators that couples may wrestle with in navigating the dating and relationship landscape.  In this episode, Alvean and Doug talk about age and the ways it can become an impediment or a non issue in a relationship.  For a complete transcript , click here: LL48-Does Age Matter?

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Getting what we want, out of life and especially in our relationships can sometimes lead to a win/lose outcome.  In this episode, Alvean and Doug talk about mutuality; strategies for aligning your desires with those of your loved one.  The key is to understand your motivations and to work from self-less rather than selfish desires.  It may seem counter-intuitive but having your cake and eating it too works best when you invite your partner to dine with you.  For a full transcript of this episode, click here: LL47-Getting What You Want

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In this episode, Alvean and Doug discuss some of the challenges and pitfalls of turning to friends or family members for advice on your relationships.  Although they may mean well, those closest to you are not without unconscious or even intentional bias that skews their counsel and can add a layer of emotional distortion that won’t serve you well.  In the best of cases, they are not professionals and are working only from their experience which may or may not be grounded in positive outcomes. Typically what we are looking for is validation but what we need is objectivity.  For more, click here for a full transcript: LL46-Friends and Family as Counselors

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The children’s show host, Mr. Rogers was famous for saying “I love you just the way you are.”  He understood that very important affirmation was essential to convey acceptance and trust.  It is just as important for adults to hear that message as it is for children.  Trying to change or conform your loved one to your desire sows the seed of breakup by violating that cardinal rule about doing unto others as you would have done unto you.  No one wants to manipulated or coerced into being someone they are not.  We all want acceptance for who and what we are.  Alvean and Doug discuss the ways in which we consciously and unconsciously signal acceptance.  For a full transcript of this episode, click here: LL45-I love you Just the Way You Are

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A crucial part of feeling good about yourself and your significant other is having a sense of purpose. What you want for yourself, for others and how you go about accomplishing that has everything to do with your personal happiness and sense of peace.   Alvean and Doug talk about how to find your purpose in life and how that can guide your relationships.  For a full transcript, click here: LL44-Finding Purpose