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Often we seek out or find a mate who supports and empowers us–helping us to become the best possible version of ourselves we are able to be.  But it is not uncommon for couples to enable one another and that can lead to a toxic and destructive form of dependency. In this episode Alvean and Doug discuss enablers and how, consciously or otherwise they can lead their significant other down a bad path.  For a full transcript, click here: 67-Are you an Enabler?

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If you are unattached or in what you recognize is a short term relationship you’ve probably given some thought to what or who you are looking for in an ideal mate.  How we choose speaks volumes about us, our upbringing, family and social values.  While finding the right person for you is never simple it helps if you start by understanding what you are looking for.  In this episode, Alvean and Doug reflect on that process, how we identify and choose , and more importantly how we can be more certain we are making good choices.  For a full transcript, click here:LL62-Your ideal mate

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There is an old saying, you don’t choose your family but you do choose your friends.  But what does it mean to be a friend, much less a good friend. Many of us have dozens even hundreds of friends on social media but we understand they aren’t all our real friends, not people who we expect to be there for us in times good and bad,more like casual acquaintances perhaps.  in this episode Alvean and Doug explore what it means to be a good friend and how that reflects on us and our relationships in general.  For a full transcript of this episode, click here: LL61-Are you a good friend?

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For some, the word intimacy conjures the image of smoking hot sex, while others imagine a dreamier kind of romantic idyll.  Like so many things in life, it turns out that intimacy is what you make it, sublime or ferocious–sexy or sweet, it is all up to you and your partner.  In this episode, Alvean and Doug talk frankly about love, sex and intimacy in a relationship, how intimacy is obtained and maintained throughout our lives.  For more and a complete transcript, click here:LL60-What is Intimacy

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True love, something well beyond infatuation or romantic engagement endures and changes us as we grow closer to one another, There are valuable lessons to be learned by observing those who are blessed to have found that deeper and abiding relationship and Alvean and Doug offer some insight and examples for their listeners in this episode of LoveLife.  For a complete transcript, click here: LL59-What has true love taught you?

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There is a common misconception that humans come with use by dates when it comes to marriage.  Phrases like confirmed bachelor or old maid are pejoratives used to describe those who appear to be chronologically past the age of matrimony.  But is there any truth to this?  Are we ever just too old, too set in our ways to find love?  Alvean and Doug explore the myths and truths behind the idea in this episode of LoveLife.  For a complete transcript, click here:LL58-Is there a use by date….

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As the song goes, regrets I have a few.  It is part of life.  We are fallible and flawed and one day we are likely to do or say something that on reflection we regret.  Regrets can be useful reminders that help us avoid making the same mistakes later in life but they can also become corrosive leading to bitterness and heartache.  Alvean and Doug talk about the nature of regret in this episode and offer some advice about how to move on without losing sight of the lessons we are meant to keep.  For a full transcript, click here: LL57-Your Biggest Regrets

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Parenting , as someone once said, is the last of the unskilled occupations.  Most of us have only our own life experiences to guide us and we tend to mimic or counter those experiences in our own lives depending on how we felt about them as we came of age.  In this episode, Alvean and Doug discuss what can be a particularly thorny or rewarding passage for couples that have remarried and are raising children that may not be their own.  For a complete transcript of the episode, click here:LL56-Relating to children from a prior relationship

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As we age and enter new stages and phases of our lives our perspectives may change.  What was once of great importance may no longer capture our full attention, how we feel towards a significant other may deepen or erode, our values and our convictions are not always as steady as we might think.  In this episode Alvean and Doug explore the ways in which we gain or shift our perspectives through the stages of our life and what that signifies.  For more, click here:LL55-How has your perspective changed with age?pdf

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Threesomes may sound like a kinky form of intimacy but in reality few relationships can withstand the addition of another.  While it is true we have the capacity to love more than one person in our lifetimes it generally does not mean romantic love is something we can readily share with more than one person at a time. In this episode, Alvean and Doug explore the stresses and process couples need to navigate to overcome the introduction of a third person in what was a bond of two.  For a full transcript of the episode, click here: LL54-You, Me and ………