Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 20:02 — 18.3MB) | Embed

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | RSS | More

Ask most women about the men in their life and there is a good chance that they will describe the men in the life as opaque or lacking when it comes to expressing their feelings.  As trite as it may seem they aren’t wrong–but what they may not know is what their man is really feeling but not discussing.  There are many reasons for this seeming disconnect, and in this episode Alvean and Doug discuss the causes and importantly ways in which women can help their mate to become more comfortable revealing their inner thoughts and feelings. For a full transcript, click here: LL53-What men rarely say but often feel

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 16:52 — 15.4MB) | Embed

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | RSS | More

As we age, most of us retain certain personality traits but often change our perspective on issues as they are informed by life experience.  What we want out of our lives, our value systems and our views of others can change –sometimes dramatically– as we enter different stages of life.  In this episode, Alvean and Doug talk about their own experiences and the ways in which attitudes and values are affected by our social ecosystem.  For a full transcript, click here: LL55-How has your perspective changed with age?pdf

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 21:04 — 19.3MB) | Embed

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | RSS | More

Let’s face it, relationships can be hard to sustain.  They require constant attention and it can feel like work, not fun.  In the midst of those challenges one or both partners can be tempted to stray–looking for a more nurturing, happier, or simply less stressful alternative.  In some cases this leads to cheating, or a breakup, but it doesn’t have to.  In this episode, Alvean and Doug discuss this subject frankly and with practical advice how to handle the possibility of a 3rd party in your relationship before it leads to disunion or infidelity. For a full transcript, click here:LL54-You, Me and ………

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 14:54 — 13.6MB) | Embed

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | RSS | More

Chances are you’ve heard someone ask this question or maybe you have asked it yourself.  For some, dating, much less finding the one is a frustrating and ultimately defeating experience leading to a sense of hopelessness. There are many reasons we don’t connect.  In this episode Alvean and Doug talk about the ways in which we can get in our own way by setting unrealistic expectations, looking in the wrong places, or failing to invest sufficient effort in learning about a potential mate.  For a full transcript, click here: LL52-Are there any good men or women out there?

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 14:59 — 13.7MB) | Embed

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | RSS | More

No one ever wants to think about it and no matter how gently and thoughtfully it is done, it is almost always very hurtful.  In this episode, Alvean and Doug take up the issue with some helpful thoughts on how best to handle a breakup whether you are initiating or the recipient.  They offer some suggestions on how to help avoid anger and recrimination and equally important, how to help one’s soon to be ex to maintain their dignity and emotional health in the face of a painful experience. For a full transcript, click here: LL51-Breaking Up

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 15:59 — 14.6MB) | Embed

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | RSS | More

For most couples the arrival of their first child is both a blessing and long dreamed of moment.  But it can also be challenging for both parents.  Demands on time and patience, fears about preparedness, added financial burdens, and potential disagreements about parenting are just a few of the bumps in the road new parents can encounter.  In this episode, Alvean and Doug talk about the practical and emotional challenges and offer some thoughts on how to navigate baby’s arrival. For a full transcript, click here: LL50-And Baby Makes Three

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 15:11 — 13.9MB) | Embed

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | RSS | More

Satisfying relationships can be challenged by many external factors, not least among these family and friends who feel it is appropriate to weigh in on a couple’s privacy and insert themselves into the mix–often to the detriment of the relationship.  We call these circumstances toxic –as they can poison an otherwise positive relationship or inflate minor differences to the point they become destructive.  In this episode Alvean and Doug talk about how to identify toxic behavior and what to do when faced with prospective influencers–however well intentioned that might lead to a break up, or divorce. For more and a full transcript, click here: LL49 -Toxic Families

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 16:18 — 14.9MB) | Embed

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | RSS | More

Some may see them as May December romances, others find significant age differences in relationships a bit cringy.  But the real question is does age truly matter?  In this episode Alvean and Doug take on this sometime thorny subject with their usual fresh insights and real world examples.  For a full transcript click here: LL48-Does Age Matter?

Every relationship requires a degree of compromise–hopefully limited to small things but sometimes it is hard to find middle ground.  In this episode, Alvean and Doug talk about ways to achieve win/win solutions-getting what you want without making others give up what is important to them.  For mer and a complete transcript, click here: LL47-Getting What You Want

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 14:07 — 12.9MB) | Embed

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | RSS | More

Friends and family can be part of a wonderful network of love and support, but there is one thing couples should never do, and that is to involve eaither into their lives as armchair therapists or relationship counselors. Despite what they may say or do, family and friends have conscious and unconscious biases, they are untrained and almost always will make matters worse rather than better.  To find out why, listen to Alvean and Doug discuss the merits.  For a full transcript, click here: LL-46 Friends and Family as Counselors